Time for those wacky searches again:
1. Entry spell
2. Under my desk
3. phat bitches
4. Spell for noisy neighbors
5. How to put air in tires
6. Ho ho fucking ho what a crock of shit (that one is my personal favorite)
7. Self bound
8. Quizzes for only witches
It’s the weekend! YAY! ::happy dance::
My sister is off tomorrow so I get to sleep in!!!! No waking up at dawn to drag her to work. I get to sleep!! Yes, yes, yes! Sleep is a beautiful thing.
After sleep, I am not sure what we’ll do. Perhaps take in a movie. We haven’t been in a while. Hopefully the mail man will bring my High Priestess Level 2 books to me tomorrow so I can get started on the lessons.
I may make some candles, not sure yet. I am just so excited that I get to sleep in!
YAY ME!
You have just won one million dollars:
1. Who do you call first?
Mark
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
Plane tickets to Europe
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
Whatever my sister wanted and I would scoot some cash to the people I love.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Yes. There are several people in my life I would give money to and I would definitely give some money to AIDS and Alzheimer’s research.
Exactly who I would give money to…I would give some to Mark. I would probably give some to my grandmother, I would set up a trust for my sister, I would give some to Theresa. I think that’s it.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
I would hire some sort of investment banker to do something with some of the money. I don’t really know anything about investment, so I would have to entrust it to someone else.
My day was long and kicked my ass. Otherwise not noteworthy. But since you all loved the story about my grandma asking me if I smoke the herbs in my kitchen cabinets, I thought I would share the creme de le creme of all my granny tales. I already told a portion of this story to Fran, so here it is in it’s entirety. I am not responsible for anything you spit at your computer screen while reading this post.
I have always been a night owl and most people know this. So it is not unsual for me to get phone calls at all hours. One Saturday night/very early Sunday morning, about 2AM, my telephone rings. This is the conversation that took place.
Me: Hello?
Granny: Kelly?
Me: Yeah?
Granny: Turn your tv to channel 39
Me: What station is that? We’re on different cable systems.
Granny: I don’t know! It says “WE” in the lower corner
Me: Ok, hold on (I get the remote and locate WE). I then see the image on the TV screen and freeze.
Me: Ok…
Granny: What is she holding?
Me: What show is this?? (At the same time I am hitting the guide button on the remote and it tells me the show is called “The Saturday Night Sex Show”)
Granny: I have no idea, but what is that she is holding???
Me: (HUGE Pause. You could have performed Cats in the length of my pause)
Me: Anal beads.
Granny: Anal beads?
Me: Uh huh.
Granny: You mean anal like your butt?
Me: Uh huh.
Granny: Do you mean to tell me that you stick those things in your ass?
Me: Yes. Hence the name…anal beads.
Granny: Well I never heard of such a thing in all my life. And they are showing them on tv for anyone to see! What is this world com– wait a minute! Why do you know what anal beads are??????? Wait don’t answer that, I don’t want to know! I need to take a pill and lie down.
And then she hung up. Let me tell ya that there is NOTHING like explaining anal beads to your 75 year old grandmother. It’s a whole new layer of mental trauma.
My grandmother started speaking to me again yesterday. She just called and was semi-nasty. She called to tell me there had been a death in the family. A cousin or something like that and then she just kept talking. No apology, not even a mention about the fight or anything. I figured that would be how it went when I did hear from her.
She called a little bit ago and was just chit chatting and then out of nowhere she said “I think it’s time you got rid of that witch table you have”. She was referencing my altar. See, I’ve never come out and said “listen Grams, I’m a witch”. I just don’t hide any of my pagan/witch related items. The shelves in my living room are full of books on witchcraft and she saw the altar in my bedroom but she didn’t know what it was. On a hysterical sidenote, she opened my kitchen cabinets looking for a bowl or something when she was here the first time after I moved in. I keep 2 of he cabinets in the kitchen full of my herbs I use for magick because I don’t have enough shelf space anywhere else in the apartment. So, she opened the cabinet and saw a shit load of jars that are labeled with names she had never heard of. She looks at me and says “What the hell is all this?” I said “Herbs.” She was quiet for a minute and looked back at me and said “Are you smoking these?” I nearly peed on myself.
Anyway, so I told her I liked the table just the way it was and changed the subject. We’ll see what happens from there.
I’m snowed in. We got about 6.5 inches of snow here yesterday and through the night. My stupid ass company didn’t shut down, so I am using a PTO day. I was going to try to go in, but I turned on the tv this morning and heard that the roads were covered in black ice and I said forget it. Black ice, in case you don’t know, is when you cannot see the ice on the roads. The roads just look wet, until you try to stop. It’s loads of fun, let me tell you.
So I am home. Blogging and reading and watching my sister built a snow man that apparently came from munchkin land ’cause it’s the smallest snow man I have ever seen.
Maiden- You are an innocent. You speak softly and
blush often. Preserve those soft looks and that
young body, for a suitor is coming…
What kind of medieval lady are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I know a lot of pagans read my blog so this question is mainly directed at those people, although feel free to answer the question even if you aren’t pagan 
How, if you have one, did you select your magickal name?
I have been searching for one forever and it’s just not happening. Any help would be much appreciated!
more…
Captain Kangaroo died! 
……..
I loved his show when I was little!
What a damn depressing thing to read.
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